Full Circle

Months ago I felt
As if there was nothing to live for
It caused me pain
And now I just
Dont want anything
But to hide and never awake


There pills take away the pain
But they dont take away the reality
That I dont know what to do
And I still cant move on from being insane
As I look at my wrists
The image
And the memory of the blood gives me shudders
And sense of security inside
Ive gone so long
Perhaps too long.


The flashbacks
From these past few months
Remain in my head
And they wont go away
Borderline traumatic experience
I wondered what I did to deserve pain once again
And then I realized
Does it even matter anymore?


The trauma brings me down
I bring me down
I stocked up all my pills for overdose
Because Im hanging by a thread
And all I can think about is being dead