Denial

I know I can’t deny it
Anymore
Whether it is a dismal day
Even after a happy day
When I paint the whole town red
Someone in the end is hurt
And it is my fault

Even after the happiest moment
I come to realize
That it won’t be that way for long
because someone has a beef to pull with me
And I know I deserve it

I just want to say go away
I want to say leave me alone
I can't feel your pain
And my stress is too great to deal with more
But I know If I ignore
Then hell is where I will be

Im sorry if I hurt you
Im sorry if I made you cry
My long span of confusion
My long span of being hurt by others myself
Doesn’t make an excuse
Yes its easier to blow someone off but
If I did what kind of person would I be?

I’ve been in denial
but Im glad you give me a fair trial
But if you all just got up and walked away
I would understand
because frankly
I don’t feel bad for my self
When I am hurt because
I know what I’ve been doing
Is wrong
Please don't take this the wrong way
Despite my pain at the moment
You are not a burden
And Im saying this from my heart
Because I deserve to suffer the way you did